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NBA Crushing Disappointment Power Rankings – Week 2

Each week, we will give a full list of the teams that have let down their fans the most over the course of the season. We are starting the season with a two-for-one deal, covering the first two weeks of play. Teams are assigned points using the following scoring system:

  • Loss:  1 point
  • Overtime:  0.5
  • Win:  -1
  • Blowout loss (30+ goals):  0.5
  • Blowout win (30+ goals):  -0.5
  • Last Minute Loss:  0.5
  • Blow huge lead to lose game (Comeback win is negative points):
  •                 20 point lead:  0.25
  •                 25 point lead:  0.5
  •                 30+ point lead:  1
  • Midseason coach/GM firing:  10
  • Trade away star player: 15
  • Acquire star player in trade: -10
  • Starting goalie controversy:  3
  • Miss playoffs:  10
  • Relocation rumours:  7
  • Ownership issues:  4
  • Legal troubles:  3
  • Suspension:  1 point per game suspended
  • Fines:  0.01 point per thousand dollars fined
  • Man games lost to injury: 0.1 point per game

On to the rankings:

1. Utah Jazz (8.8 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Rough start for the Jazz, which lost its first 8 games of the season before finally beating the Pelicans (Cans? Pellies? Dirty Birds?) on Wednesday. The Jazz were historically bad at shooting the ball to start the season.

2. Cleveland Cavaliers (4.8 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Andrew Bynum (and his hair) has been a shell of him former self (his words, not mine), #1 overall pick Anthony Bennett started his pro career shooting 0 for 1930 (approximate), and the Cavaliers continue to play in Cleveland.

3. New York Knicks (4.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Wait, adding Andrea Bargnani didn’t immediately elevate the Knicks to the top of the East? That sound from the north is Raptors fans laughing. Tyson Chandler is out for at least a month with a fractured fibula, Amar’e Stoudamire is being paid $21 million this year despite the fact his legs are made of glass stilts, and to top things off, Carmelo was described as “more Robin that Batman” by a NBA exec this week. The Knicks lost in the last minute to the Bulls (Derrick Rose), and got blown out by the Spurs 120-89.

4. Los Angeles Lakers (4.6 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

No surprise that the Lakers aren’t playing too well. They have a 4-6 record so far, including a 125-94 blowout loss to the Warriors. Laker fans are showing their displeasure by not going to games; their 320 game consecutive sellout streak came to an end this week.

5. Washington Wizards (4.5 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

6. Toronto Raptors (4.2 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

7. New Orleans Pelicans (4.1 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Anthony Davis is off to a great start (21.8 ppg, 11.2 rbg, 3.1 bpg) but the Pelicans (Flock?) are 3-6, the only team to lose to the Jazz so far.

8. Sacramento Kings (3.8 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

9. Milwaukee Bucks (3.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

10. Detroit Pistons (3.6 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

11. Boston Celtics (2.9 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Boston lost its first 4 games and appeared well on its way to tanking the whole season, but they went on to win 4 in a row before losing to the Bobcats. Notable highlight: beating the Heat on a Jeff Green buzzer beater.

­12. Brooklyn Nets (2.65 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

13. Orlando Magic (2.3 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

14. Memphis Grizzlies (1.9 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

15. Charlotte Bobcats (1.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

16. Denver Nuggets (1.4 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

17. Atlanta Hawks (1.2 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

The Hawks are a mediocre 4-3, but get a special shout-out here because rookie Dennis Schroder was suspended 1 game for hitting Boogie Cousins. In the groin.

18. Chicago Bulls (1.1 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

19. Miami Heat (0.85 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

20. Philadelphia 76ers (0.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

I thought the ‘6ers were supposed to be tanking? They stunned the league by beating Miami in the season opener and winning their first 3 games. While the offense is clicking (105.4 ppg, 6th in the league), the defense is dead last at 108.2 ppg. Look for Philly to climb up this list in the weeks to come.

21. Phoenix Suns (0.6 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

22. Houston Rockets (-0.15 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

23. Oklahoma City Thunder (-0.5 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

24. Dallas Mavericks (-0.9 points; Last Week: -, -0 points)

25. Minnesota Timberwolves (-0.9 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

26. Los Angeles Clippers (-1.45 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

27. Portland Trail Blazers (-2.3 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

28. Golden State Warriors (-2.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

29. Indiana Pacers (-6.4 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

30. San Antonio Spurs (-6.5 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

The Spurs take 30th on the Crushing Disappointment Rankings, over undefeated Indiana, due to their blowout victory over the Knicks and fewer man games lost so far. Don’t expect that to last, as the Spurs are dinosaur old and have a tendency to piss of the NBA by benching their stars at inopportune times.