Articles

NBA Crushing Disappointment Power Rankings – Week 2

Each week, we will give a full list of the teams that have let down their fans the most over the course of the season. We are starting the season with a two-for-one deal, covering the first two weeks of play. Teams are assigned points using the following scoring system:

  • Loss:  1 point
  • Overtime:  0.5
  • Win:  -1
  • Blowout loss (30+ goals):  0.5
  • Blowout win (30+ goals):  -0.5
  • Last Minute Loss:  0.5
  • Blow huge lead to lose game (Comeback win is negative points):
  •                 20 point lead:  0.25
  •                 25 point lead:  0.5
  •                 30+ point lead:  1
  • Midseason coach/GM firing:  10
  • Trade away star player: 15
  • Acquire star player in trade: -10
  • Starting goalie controversy:  3
  • Miss playoffs:  10
  • Relocation rumours:  7
  • Ownership issues:  4
  • Legal troubles:  3
  • Suspension:  1 point per game suspended
  • Fines:  0.01 point per thousand dollars fined
  • Man games lost to injury: 0.1 point per game

On to the rankings:

1. Utah Jazz (8.8 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Rough start for the Jazz, which lost its first 8 games of the season before finally beating the Pelicans (Cans? Pellies? Dirty Birds?) on Wednesday. The Jazz were historically bad at shooting the ball to start the season.

2. Cleveland Cavaliers (4.8 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Andrew Bynum (and his hair) has been a shell of him former self (his words, not mine), #1 overall pick Anthony Bennett started his pro career shooting 0 for 1930 (approximate), and the Cavaliers continue to play in Cleveland.

3. New York Knicks (4.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Wait, adding Andrea Bargnani didn’t immediately elevate the Knicks to the top of the East? That sound from the north is Raptors fans laughing. Tyson Chandler is out for at least a month with a fractured fibula, Amar’e Stoudamire is being paid $21 million this year despite the fact his legs are made of glass stilts, and to top things off, Carmelo was described as “more Robin that Batman” by a NBA exec this week. The Knicks lost in the last minute to the Bulls (Derrick Rose), and got blown out by the Spurs 120-89.

4. Los Angeles Lakers (4.6 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

No surprise that the Lakers aren’t playing too well. They have a 4-6 record so far, including a 125-94 blowout loss to the Warriors. Laker fans are showing their displeasure by not going to games; their 320 game consecutive sellout streak came to an end this week.

5. Washington Wizards (4.5 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

6. Toronto Raptors (4.2 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

7. New Orleans Pelicans (4.1 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Anthony Davis is off to a great start (21.8 ppg, 11.2 rbg, 3.1 bpg) but the Pelicans (Flock?) are 3-6, the only team to lose to the Jazz so far.

8. Sacramento Kings (3.8 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

9. Milwaukee Bucks (3.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

10. Detroit Pistons (3.6 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

11. Boston Celtics (2.9 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

Boston lost its first 4 games and appeared well on its way to tanking the whole season, but they went on to win 4 in a row before losing to the Bobcats. Notable highlight: beating the Heat on a Jeff Green buzzer beater.

­12. Brooklyn Nets (2.65 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

13. Orlando Magic (2.3 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

14. Memphis Grizzlies (1.9 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

15. Charlotte Bobcats (1.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

16. Denver Nuggets (1.4 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

17. Atlanta Hawks (1.2 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

The Hawks are a mediocre 4-3, but get a special shout-out here because rookie Dennis Schroder was suspended 1 game for hitting Boogie Cousins. In the groin.

18. Chicago Bulls (1.1 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

19. Miami Heat (0.85 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

20. Philadelphia 76ers (0.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

I thought the ‘6ers were supposed to be tanking? They stunned the league by beating Miami in the season opener and winning their first 3 games. While the offense is clicking (105.4 ppg, 6th in the league), the defense is dead last at 108.2 ppg. Look for Philly to climb up this list in the weeks to come.

21. Phoenix Suns (0.6 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

22. Houston Rockets (-0.15 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

23. Oklahoma City Thunder (-0.5 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

24. Dallas Mavericks (-0.9 points; Last Week: -, -0 points)

25. Minnesota Timberwolves (-0.9 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

26. Los Angeles Clippers (-1.45 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

27. Portland Trail Blazers (-2.3 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

28. Golden State Warriors (-2.7 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

29. Indiana Pacers (-6.4 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

30. San Antonio Spurs (-6.5 points; Last Week: -, 0 points)

The Spurs take 30th on the Crushing Disappointment Rankings, over undefeated Indiana, due to their blowout victory over the Knicks and fewer man games lost so far. Don’t expect that to last, as the Spurs are dinosaur old and have a tendency to piss of the NBA by benching their stars at inopportune times. 

What the FF? The Decline of Ray Rice

The frustration of Fantasy Football owners is a peculiar mix of emotions. There’s a lot of un-warranted anger at millionaire athletes who don’t know you, don’t care about you, don’t owe anything to you, and even if they are currently underperforming, could destroy you in seconds. You watch in disbelief at the idiot coaches who don’t give the ball to your star RB1 at the goal line, instead repeatedly giving it to Mike Tolbert or Roy Helu to steal 6 points that you really needed this week. Then there’s the self-doubt that creeps in after you repeatedly stick with Dwayne Bowe week after week because he’s Kansas City’s best WR option, despite knowing in the back of your mind that Alex Smith can’t throw the ball more than 5 yards beyond the line of scrimmage and that all KC touchdowns come from either Jamaal Charles or the defense.

Read More

NHL Crushing Disappointment Power Rankings – Week 6

Each week, we will give a full list of the teams that have let down their fans the most over the course of the season. Teams are assigned points using the following scoring system:

  • Loss:  1 point
  • Overtime/Shootout Loss:  0.5
  • Win:  -1
  • Blowout loss (4+ goals):  0.5
  • Blowout win (4+ goals):  -0.5
  • Shutout by other team:  0.5
  • Blow third period lead to lose game (Comeback win is negative points):
  •             1 goal lead:  0.25
  •             2 goal lead:  0.5
  •             3+ goal lead:  1
  • Midseason coach/GM firing:  10
  • Trade away star player: 15
  • Acquire star player in trade: -10
  • Starting goalie controversy:  3
  • Miss playoffs:  10
  • Relocation rumours:  7
  • Ownership issues:  4
  • Legal troubles:  3
  • Suspension:  1 point per game suspended
  • Fines:  0.01 point per thousand dollars fined
  • Man games lost to injury: 0.1 point per game

On to the rankings:

1. Buffalo Sabres (45.35 points; Last Week: #1, 42.65 points)

Buffalo continues to hold a sizeable lead at the top of the Crushing Disappointment Rankings. The Sabres continued their disappointing play this week by going 1-2-0, with a shutout loss to L.A. and a 6-2 thumping at the hands (wings?) of the Ducks.

2. Florida Panthers (27.05 points; Last Week: #4, 14.15 points)

Florida made a strong move up the Disappointment Rankings this week, losing all three games it played (2 in regulation) and, more importantly, firing head coach Kevin Dineen. Florida becomes the second team to release its man behind the bench; not surprisingly both teams (the other is Philly) are in the top three of these rankings.

3. Philadelphia Flyers (21.8 points; Last Week: #2, 19.4 points)

Philly couldn’t keep pace with Florida, as there are only so many times you can fire your coach. They did lose 3-0 to the Devils, however.

4. Edmonton Oilers (21.2 points; Last Week: #3, 17.3 points)

Edmonton went 1-2-0 this week and continues to hold a sizeable lead in the man games lost to injury category, with 107. The Crushing Disappointment Rankings has a strict rule about not adding new categories as the season progresses. Just know that “Signing a goalie who was cut by the Flyers” should be a category, and it should count for somewhere between 3 to 7 points. Let the Brzygalov era begin!

5. New Jersey Devils (12.95 points; Last Week: # 6, 9.25 points)

6. Carolina Hurricanes (11.7 points; Last Week: # 5, 9.5 points)

The Hurricanes had an astounding 37 man games lost to injury over 3 games last week; that’s over 12 people out per game! May need to check the statistics on this one…

7. Calgary Flames (10.45 points; Last Week: #10, 6.15 points)

Not a great week for the Flames, who lost 3 games, including a 5-1 blowout loss the Minnesota Wild.

8. Montreal Canadiens (10.05 points; Last Week: #9, 6.2 points)

9. Columbus Blue Jackets (9.1 points; Last Week: #8, 6.5 points)

10. Winnipeg Jets (7.6 points; Last Week: #7, 7.3 points)

11. Toronto Maple Leafs (5.3 points; Last Week: #14, 4.6 points)

12. Nashville Predators (4.9 points; Last Week: #16, 3.1 points)

13. Detroit Red Wings (4.75 points; Last Week: #18, 0.9 points)

­The Red Wings lost three games last week, including blowing a third period one goal lead to the Stars.

14. Washington Capitals (4.64 points; Last Week: #13, 5.19 points)

15. New York Rangers (4.3 points; Last Week: #11, 5.8 points)

16. Pittsburgh Penguins (3.5 points; Last Week: #20, -1.2 points)

Rough week for the Pens, losing two games, including a 5-1 drubbing to the Rangers.

17. Dallas Stars (3 points; Last Week: #12, 5.25 points)

18. Ottawa Senators (2.2 points; Last Week: #15, 4.1 points)

19. Vancouver Canucks (1.75 points; Last Week: #19, -0.55 points)

20. Minnesota Wild (0.1 points; Last Week: # 17, 2.45 points)

21. New York Islanders (-1.75 points; Last Week: #29, -7.45 points)

The Islanders reached the lofty heights of #29 on the Crushing Disappointment Rankings last week after acquiring Thomas Vanek in a trade. Then, it all came crashing back to earth, as we knew it would, because it’s the Islanders. They lost three games last week, including a 6-2 loss to the Capitals and a 1-0 shutout to the Hurricanes

22. Anaheim Ducks (-2.3 points; Last Week: #21, -2 points)

23. San Jose Sharks (-3.1 points; Last Week: #27, -5.2 points)

24. Boston Bruins (-3.2 points; Last Week: #22, -2.1 points)

25. Phoenix Coyotes (-4.05 points; Last Week: #25, -3.65 points)

26. Los Angeles Kings (-5.1 points; Last Week: #24, -3 points)

27. St. Louis Blues (-5.15 points; Last Week: #23, -2.9 points)

28. Tampa Bay Lightning (-5.25 points; Last Week: #26, -4.05 points)

29. Chicago Blackhawks (-6.25 points; Last Week: #29, -5.55 points)

30. Colorado Avalanche (-6.75 points; Last Week: #30, -8.05 points)

 

 

NHL Crushing Disappointment Power Rankings – The First Month

Hockey is back, and with it comes another full season for fans both young and old to be repeatedly let down by their favourite teams. Here at The Goat, we have the dubious track record of supporting, among other teams, the Maple Leafs and the Oilers, which have been two of the most disappointing teams over the last few years. But how crushing is that disappointment and how does it compare to the rest of the league? Enter the Crushing Disappointment Power Rankings.

Read More